


I've killed for you...(Don't make me die for you too)

by IneffableAngst



Category: Black Lagoon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Balalaika is cold, Balalaika needs human contact really, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, F/F, Maybe a little OOC, Revy is Angry, Useless Lesbians, rock doesn't know when to shut up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 21:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21087767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAngst/pseuds/IneffableAngst
Summary: There's never a dull day for the crew of the Black Lagoon,  and usually it's enough for Revy. Until the Captain of the infamous Hotel Moscow sparks a certain interest in the young pirate, and she's forced to juggle conflicting feelings, with her fear of the woman who could break her, as life in the city of Roanapur gets more tumultuous than ever.





	1. A chapter in which no one dies.

Revy took a drag on her cigarette, tuning out Rock and Benny as they enthused about how 'successful' their mission had been. "And we didn't even have to kill anyone!" Rock was saying, as if it was a good thing. What was the point if you didn't get to kill anyone? They'd been sent to eliminate some drug traffickers who had been making too much noise for Hotel Moscows agents in the area to operate safely, and at Rocks suggestion 'to draw less attention to them' the crew of the Black Lagoon company had led the traffickers into a trap that had resulted in their arrest.  
Hardly taking care of them at all, as far as Revy was concerned, she just hoped like hell that the leader of Hotel Moscow; the formidable Balalaika, wouldn't agree with her. As a note anyone who she couldn't easily kill made her uncomfortable, but the Russian woman was downright terrifying, and about the last person Revy wanted to openly take on in a fight.  
Pulling up outside the parking building, Revy jumped out of the packed car, into the heavy Thai heat she could never quite get used it, and after a last drag on her cigarette the brunette flicked it to the pavement, crushing it under her heel. "Come on, what's with the long face?" Rock asked, oblivious to the risk his stupid naivety had put them in once again. "It's hot." She shot back in a dark enough voice to stop any followup questions. "Don't mind Revy." Dutch supplied for her, clapping her on the shoulder as they started inside the concrete structure. "She's just mad she didn't get to kill anyone." With a huff, she shrugged off the hand, fingers twitching restlessly next to one of her guns. "Yeah, well, you better hope Hotel Moscow is as impressed with your stupid plan as you are." She spat, frustrated that Dutch had seen through her. "Because if I have to die because you stopped me killing people, you'd best believe I'm taking you out first."   
She continued, fixing her dark eyes on Rock for a long second, as he held his hands up in surrender, ignoring Bennys smirk.   
As the group descended into the depths of the parking lot, the group quietened, which suited her just fine, Revy's eyes scanned the dark floor before them, something didn't feel right, but she didn't know what until she heard the familiar sound of rifles being cocked and in one movement men in green army fatigues were stepping out from behind parked cars, guns all trained on the crew of the Black Lagoon, and Revy was pulling out her pistols, training them on the two men closest to her as Dutch demanded to know what the hell was going on, and the Russian woman climbed out of the back of a parked van, face expressionless as she walked towards them. "When I send you to do a job, I expect you to return when it's done, no sooner." Balalaika said calmly, eyes tracking over the members of Revys team one by one. "You wanted us to stop the traffickers from bringing attention your way." Rock replied earnestly, he never knew when to keep his mouth shut, why should he start now? "If anything credibly bringing them down ties things up far cleaner than taking them out would have." He continued with a dismissive wave of his hand. "So really, we made things easier you." It was the smug tone of his voice that did it as much as anything else, Revy was sure of it, and she trained her pistols on the Russian as the woman sneered, holding a fist up to stay her men who had seemed to collectively bring their aim to Revy the moment she made herself a threat to their precious Captain.  
"Rock, I'd shut up right about now, if I were you." The brunette hissed, keeping her eyes fixed an Balalaikas cold blue ones, as they studied her with a hint of what almost looked like amusement. It reminded her of a snake about to launch on its prey, and the thought made Revy swallow, tightening her grip on her guns. She could kill the Balalaika if she really wanted to, she was fairly certain of it, but she also knew she, and the rest of the crew, would be dead before the blonde even hit the ground, they were bad odds, but better than being gunned down without firing a shot, because of Rocks loose tongue.  
"I'm not here to argue." Balalaika said letting her hand fall to her side, her men still had their guns trained on Revy, and Revy wasn't about to back down first. "Especially with a business man who isn't looking at the big picture." the blonde continued, walking towards Revy as the younger womans hands shook slightly. "I wanted them dead, so it would serve as a warning to anyone else who wants to draw attention to themselves, and as a result, me." She was right in front of Revy now, so close that the barrels of her pistols brushed against the Captains green coat, and Revy swore. "Put your guns down, Rebecca, unless you're going to end me, in which case I'd appreciate if you get it over and done with." Anyone else who called her that would get a talking to, a broken limb on a bad day, but Revy didn't have a death wish, and she doubted that dumbass Rock was going to keep making the situation worse, so she holstered her guns, offering Balalaika a cool smile. "We're still getting paid for the job, right?" She asked, and she could swear the older woman almost laughed. "You didn't carry out my job to the full extent, but I suppose I could compensate you half the agreed upon rate." The Russian replied generously. "And." She continued when Revy opened her mouth to argue. "I'll let you live despite your insolence." 

After Butch had sufficiently apologized on behalf of his crew, and promises were made that there would be no further fuck ups in the future, Revy was back in the car, lighting another cigarette as Benny drove them back to the docks, and their ship, replaying the evenings events in her head. They could have all been killed, but they weren't, and Revy couldn't help but wonder in a fair fight, without the blondes back up ready to kill or die for their leader, what might the odds look like then? Maybe someday she'd get Balalaika alone, and have the chance to find out exactly who would come out on top. As the car pulled up at the dock Revy made her way onto the ship, the rest of the crew giving her a wide berth, as she stalked down to her cabin, grabbing a can of Heiriken on the way. The mission had been a bust, they'd only gotten half their pay, and Revy still hadn't gotten the chance to kill anyone.


	2. A chapter in which Revys loyalties are questioned

It had been three weeks since the incident in the parking lot, too long to hold a grudge, and Revy was enjoying some time off after the the Black Lagoon company had taken out a minor arms dealer who had gathered enough allies, and money, that his position so close to the city was uncomfortable for the powers that resided over Roanapur. The table was too full, without setting another place, as Rock had so clinically put it. He was right though, she thought, slamming back her drink back, as Bao watched her suspiciously from behind the bar. It had been months since the last time the Yellowflag had been destroyed, probably because Revy and the crew had been busy doing minor jobs outside of the city. Although the fragile peace that had settled over Roanapur was coming to an end, and she knew it. The Sun Yee On Triad had been making their presence more known on the streets, and eventually that would result in something.Either way, it wasn't Revy's problem until she was being paid to care.  
She was five drinks in when the hand clapped down on her shoulder, and she looked up into the ugly scarred face of Boris, as her hand moved to her gun. "You might wanna try not sneaking up on people." She remarked, draining her last shot, and wiping her mouth with the back of a her hand. "The Captain wants to see you." Boris replied, ignoring her as he removed his hand from her shoulder. "You will come with me." Revy got to her feet, stretching as she pulled a face, she hated being interrupted while she drank, but nonetheless she began to follow the Boris to the door, letting him open the door of the fancy black car for her, to slide in, before climbing in beside her. As the driver pulled away, she glanced between the two men, fingers drumming on one knee. "And what exactly is it your Captain wants?" The brunette asked after several minutes of silence, and it became clear she'd received all the information she'd be offered. Boris continued staring out the window, and she was about to demand he answer her, when he spoke. "That is for the Captain to tell you." He answered mildly. "She told me to fetch you for her. That's it."  
It was frustrating, but she knew it wasn't worth pushing too hard, one of the reasons Balalaika was so dangerous was the loyalty she inspired in her men. If Boris wasn't going to give her any more details, that was the end of it.  
"Fine." Revy replied curtly, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it, taking a long drag and exhaling, as she turned her dark eyes out the window, they were heading towards the docks, which struck her as strange. Soon the car pulled to a stop and Boris and Revy were stepping into the rain, Revy throwing her cigarette into the gutter as the soldier let her towards the unassuming looking trade ship, the Maria Zeleska. "What's got your Captain hiding out by the water?" Revy asked, tone lightly mocking, but there was a hint of genuine curiosity too, and as she thought back to the parking lot, her pistols pressed against the Russian, her cold blue eyes almost daring her to do it. Balalaika didn't like to be insulted, or challenged, maybe this was compensation for that. It hadn't been the first time she'd pulled a gun on the leader of Hotel Moscow after all. Eventually she knew, it would get old, and she'd probably pay for it.  
As they climbed onto the ship, Revy let her fingers trace over one of her pistols, reassuring herself. Something that did not go unnoticed by the soldier standing near the entrance, and as he moved to aim his rifle at her Boris raised a hand. "It's okay." He said to the other man, with a nod, and they passed into the ship. For a trade ship, the interior looked like a military base, it was obvious that the equipment and sleeping quarters they passed as Boris led her into the depths had been recently established, and Revy wondered if the Sun Yee On were putting on enough heat to make even Balalaika draw out of the city. There had to be more to it than that though, and Revy wondered if maybe that's why she'd been summoned instead, and her earlier thoughts of punishment was just paranoia. Boris would lead her to a room where Butch and Balalaika were already going over the details of whatever crazy job they were being hired on to carry out, and pretty soon there'd be another nice pay day in Revys future. Yeah, that it was it. The brunette smiled lightly, as Boris told her to wait, disappearing behind a metal door that opened with a loud scrape.  
"Looks crowded." Revy remarked to the soldier posted by the door, who of course ignored her. "You guys are no fun." She said, fishing out another cigarette instead. When the door scraped open again, she looked up expectantly, and Boris nodded for her to come in. Stepping into what must have been a cargo bay before it was converted into an office/bedroom, it didn't escape her notice that Boris stepped back into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind him. Taking a drag on her cigarette, Revy approached the desk at the end of the room, where the blonde sat patiently waiting for her, expression blank. "Looks like you've moved most of your guys back here." Revy remarked, choosing to lean against the desk, instead of take the empty chair. "Chang got you that scared, Sis?" She continued lightly, offering the older woman a cautious smile.  
Balalaika observed Revy for a long moment, before she let out a small sigh, and suddenly she just looked exhausted. It was disconcerting, and Revy frowned. "Come on..." She said, wishing she hadn't slammed back so much whiskey so fast. "Things can't be that bad, right Sis?" Balalaika hadn't taken her eyes off Revy, and the brunette licked her lips, fidgeting under the older womans gaze. Balalaika had a way of seeing through people that always made her squirm, but all the cloak and dagger, and having seen how packed the Maria Zeleska was, was just creepy.  
"You wouldn't betray me, would you Two hands?" The Russian asked after another uncomfortable silence, as if she almost hadn't heard Revy, who was caught off entirely off guard by the question. "The fuck kind of question is that?" She replied, furrowing her brow, as she slid into the seat opposite Balalaika. "Do I look fucking suicidal to you?" She forced a laugh, feigning lightheartedness, even if the air felt heavier in the cool, air conditioned ship, than on the hot streets.  
Balalaika continued to regard her, obviously unsatisfied with her answer, and Revy swore again, taking a drag on her cigarette, eyes flicking over the older womans face. "I'm not going to fucking betray you, okay?" She said, drawing the last word out. "Even if your friends do?" The blonde shot back, tilting her head to the side slightly. Things must be worse than Revy had thought if Balalaika was even questioning the loyalty of the Black Lagoon company, although who knew what Rock did when he disappeared for some 'alone time', he'd been more than willing to work with Mister Chang before, or any of the others while she was drinking with Eda, or at the Yellowflag. Revy shook her head, it was the alcohol, and the weird tension on the damned ship, and she was being paranoid. "Look." She said firmly, meeting the Russians blue eyes evenly. "I don't know what's going on in your head, but we're not your enemies, okay? If shit hits the fan, and it comes to shooting, you know we've got your back, Sis. Not that you even need us, c'mon."  
That seemed to do it, and Revy saw the other woman viably relax, and she let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. "I suppose you're right." The Russian said after a moment, as the brunette put her cigarette in the ashtray on the desk, the same desk that until recently had been in the Russians office. "I have reason to believe there's a spy in my midst, which is simply unacceptable."Balalaika continued, bringing their staring contest to an end as she inspected her nails carefully. "I want to hire you, Two Hands, not the Black Lagoon company, you, and you're going to find this rat for me, and put him down. Is that understood?" Her icy eyes flicked back to Revys, who drew in a sharp breath, cheeks flushing despite herself. "Yeah... Sure thing, sis." Revy answered, frowning slightly. It made sense now why Boris had sought her out alone, and why there'd been the whole cloak and dagger performance dragging her to the ship, but the whole thing still made her uneasy, and she didn't know if it was because she was being asked to spy on her team, or what, but she was tapping her fingers on her leg, and then Balalaika was crossing her arms on the desk, resting her head against them, so only the side with the course burn marks was facing Revy, one blue eye still watching her carefully. "Thank you, Revy." She said quietly, eye slipping closed, as some of the tension visibly left the older woman.  
Tentatively, as one might reach out to a dangerous wounded animal, Revy placed a hand on the other womans head, fingers barely daring to brush the smooth blonde locks. It was the alcohol, of course, there's no other reason for her to have done it, and she waited to be yelled at, or for Balalaika to sit up suddenly, knocking her hand aside, but when neither of those things happened, and the older women let out a small sigh instead, Revy found herself carding her fingers through her hair more confidently, stopping when Balalaika reached up to grab her wrist. "I'm getting too old for this, Two Hands." she said quietly. "That's a load of bull, Sis." Revy replied harshly. "You're one of the damn best, so get some God damn sleep, and do what you do best, okay?" Balalaika let go of Revy wrist, sitting back up and pulling a Russian cigar out of the draw, she lit it, a huff of laughter escaping her lips. "I would have told you that every man who severed me was loyal to the death." She said slowly, shaking her head slightly, as the corner of her mouth turned up in what could almost be called a smile. "But now, I don't who to trust, how can I sleep until the traitor has a bullet in him?" Revy licked her lips, regarding the other woman carefully, tonight she'd seen a new side to Balalaika, and she wasn't entirely sure how to respond, especially when she was well aware that the other woman could hurt her- bad -if she pissed her off.  
"You've got a bed over there, and you know I'm on your side." She said with a small shrug. "Get some rest, and I'll make sure no one busts in to take you down, or whatever." Balalaika scoffed, but Revy could tell she was considering the offer. "If you don't sleep, you won't be able to think probably, and that'll have you seeing traitors everywhere." She pressed reasonably. "You don't need that, Sis." After a long moment the Russian sighed, nodding. "An hour, no more." She said firmly, as she stood, making her way over to the corner of the room where a bed had been shoved. "An hour, gotcha." Revy said with a mock salute in the other womans direction, as Balalaika stripped out of her red skirt suit, and Revy looked away quickly, cheeks flushing again, not looking back until the Russian was under the covers, and saying her name softly. "Revy... Thank you." Balalaika said quietly, falling asleep withing minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice this in going in a different direction than the OVA... That's because I'm diverging from the canon timeline after the end of the series, not including OVA's, because reasons.  
Couldn't help but indulge a little in Balalaikas sensitive side in this chapter, sorry not sorry, but our Kapitan needs human contact to. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the next installment, and I'll try to have the next chapter up sometime in the next 24 hours.


	3. A chapter in which Revy has some time to think.

Revy had tried to be patient while the Russian snored, she'd had another cigarette, and paced the cargo bay quietly, eventually ending up back at the desk, sliding into the Captains big, push chair, as she rifled through the draws, finding little of interest. Although, under a stack of documents she found what looked like it could be a journal. It was tempting to rifle through the small, leather bound book, but as she stared down at the cover. Flipping the journal open at random, Revy cursed under her breath as several polaroid photos fell from the pages. Leaning down to pick them up the brunette felt her stomach turn. They were all pictures of the blonde sleeping, no wonder the Russian had looked so tired, and taken Revy up on her offer to watch over her. It was then Balalaika let out a loud snore, and Revy shoved the photos back into the journal, placing it back at the bottom of the draw and carefully replacing the rest of the contents more, or less, the way she'd found them. If Balalaika was already questioning the loyalty of the people around her the last thing she needed was to be caught snooping, especially into something private.   
Lighting another cigarette, Revy got back up from the desk, to more closely inspect the contents of the room, the energy the alcohol had given her was wearing off, and she was getting tired herself, keeping active helped. Pausing by a stack of boxes in another corner of the room, Revy flicked one open, frowning down at the books inside. When looked into another three, finding nothing more than more books she screwed up her face, leave it to Balalaika to have nothing entertaining in her room. Was it too much to ask that she could find some alcohol to help pass her watch? With nothing better to do, Revy turned her mind to the job she'd been hired to do. How she was supposed to find a traitor among Hotel Moscow she wasn't sure, especially without help. Sure, she could threaten to kill them all one by one, until someone talked, but that would take forever. She wouldn't consider Balalaikas other suggestion, that it was a member of the Black Lagoon company, that was ridiculous, but she was smart enough that if the other woman wanted her to keep her mouth shut, she wouldn't go blabbing to her crew for help.   
Sipping back into the chair, Revy kicked her feet up on the polished wooden desk, stubbing her cigarette out in the ashtray. She'd rest her eyes, think about where to start, and in a little while she'd wake the other woman, and head back to her ship, and her bed. It didn't take long for the brunettes head to tilt forward, soft snores escaping her, as she curled into the chair. All too soon a hand was clamping down on her shoulder, and Revy was drawing her guns, swirling to aim them at the blonde, who was dressed, holding a cup of coffee, and Revy noticed another cup on the desk in front of her as she woke up properly, shoving her pistols back into their holster as the blondes hand came down hard on her face. "What the fuck was that for?" Revy hissed, climbing out of Balalaikas chair, as she brought a hand to her burning cheek. "I hate having drunks on the job." The blonde answered coolly. "You can't trust them to stay awake." Rolling her eyes Revy picked up the other mug, taking a sip of the dark liquid, surprised the Russian had remembered how she liked her coffee. "I was drunk before I took your damn job." She argued back, glaring at Balalaika. "You could'a waited until the morning, but no, you wanted to talk on my day off."   
The Blonde ignored her, taking the seat Revy had slept in as she sipped on her own coffee. "You will tell no one about anything that happened last night, am I clear?" The Russian said after a moment, blue eyes watching Revy in that unsettling way that always made her squirm. "Yeah, whatever, Sis." The younger woman shot back with a shrug. "No one's gonna hear shit, okay?" She slid back into the seat opposite the blonde, feeling relieved when the older woman looked satisfied. "Thank you, Two Hands." She said, the corners of her mouth turning up in what could almost be considered a smile. They finished their coffees in silence, Revy tempted to ask about the photos, after all if she was trying to figure out who the spy was, shouldn't she have all the information? But that would mean admitting to snooping, and her face still hurt from being slapped. Instead when her cup was empty Revy got her feet, stifling a yawn. "I should go start digging." She said, scrunching her nose. 

It had taken half an hour for the car to be arranged, and for Revy to be taken back to the Black Lagoon, and she climbed on board as Benny whistled and Dutch asked her who had been lucky enough to keep her out all night. "Shut it." She murmured darkly, heading below in search of more coffee. That was when she noticed the missing member of their crew. "Where's Rock?" She asked, as she stepped back onto the deck, it was early but the heat was already reaching sweltering temperature, and she sat in the shade of the cabin, as Benny and Dutch gathered their fishing supplies, seemingly intent on another day off. "He didn't come back last night." Benny replied, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Maybe he had a hot date too." He added with a chuckle. "Yeah." Revy said, frowning into her mug. "Maybe."

**Author's Note:**

> Wrapping up this chapter here, as I wanted to use the first chapter for mostly scene setting. I hope it was enjoyable.


End file.
